Steps Back

Oh my god, thought i was well oiled when i fell asleep as soon as i walked in from Friday's jaunts. You know it when you have had a bi too many when you suddenly wake up after midnight thinking It was  morning already.
Such was the enervating apoplexy that washed over me just now.

Trouble is, now that i am awake , more so than i was when i arrived two hours or more ago, having realized that i forgot to do my usual evening post before the midnight watershed. Tho' i doubt that really matters.

I am also totally agog that such a fine footballing nation such as  Italy can let a minnow beat them. So damn annoying.

Yes i am annoyed with soccer. Annoyed so much that to hear that  Costa Rica beat Italy , for fuck sake, as they have dumped us out of the competition at the first hurdle.   Plus , i have seemed to have fucked up on a mystery shop i did. That is very rare of me to do as i usually do check the visit times the job has to be done. Happy bunny i am not.

And it all started in the morning so fine, but as usual i take two steps forward to find that i have ended four steps back. 

Book 56 - Yann Martel "Self"

Yann Martel "Self" (Faber & Faber)




I just finished this book and am feeling quite distraught and confused as well. I thoroughly enjoyed the revealing detail Martel went into with many of his life experiences throughout this novel; he seemed to not care about what others might think when writing it. But the last experience that he describes so intricately is of him being raped. As he delves into the experience so deeply, you come out of reading it feeling violated yourself.

My problem is not of him writing about it but that he put it so close to the end of the novel that the reader hardly gets to see the narrator recover from the experience. Yes, he does mention his moving on but the reader gets no glimmer of hope that the narrator will come out of his zombie-like state. I just feel that if Martel went on to tell a little further into his life (starting to write again and open up more) that the reader would see a little more hope and the novel wouldn't end in such a grieving state. Also, the reason why the book left me extremely confused is because the narrator suddenly switches genders. In the beginning of the novel, it is a male telling the story. Then, towards the beginning of the middle section, without any explanation, the boy suddenly has a vagina and is being to referred to as a she! A little put down my the inexplicable change, I had a urge to stop reading but I managed to press on, which I'm glad I did. Then suddenly again, close to the end of the novel, the narrator is back being a male! In the last couple of pages, I was hoping that at least a hint of explanation would stick out to me but it didn't.

Could someone please tell me what this author was thinking or if I managed skip over a vital piece of information beholding the explanation????? Thanks.

I think my problem with this one was that nobody expressed any surprise at the phenomenon, and that there was clearly something deep and meaningful going on that I had failed to comprehend! It did enable the author to examine sexual relationships across the fullest possible spectrum, and in a book that occasionally nudges at the boundaries of taste, I guess that’s an important consideration.


Overall, I feel like reading this book has put me more in touch with my real self instead of my ego-self (always wondering what people are thinking of me). We are all humans that function the same way and there is nothing about it that should make us feel ashamed or embarrassed. Well done Martel: weird, strange, and true...that's what makes this novel so beautiful.

Yesterday's Visits

So yesterday i do two visits, one in Sevenoaks and the other at the hospital out in Pembury to do a Costa Coffee store visit in which i had a cappuccino and a sandwich.

Forgot to read the time period the visit had to be done and did it outside of the time limit. Oh well.

Also, forgot to bring the trusty Canon camera so any photos i took was with the mobile phone camera, and they are not just as sharp as the Canon. However , i did take a few more pics of Tonbridge castle taken from that lovely iron bridge in the last portfolio.


Damn ice cream van was in the  way.

One day i shall have to walk to the top as i guess the view from there will be quite spectacular

Picked up a couple of books on the way , one from a charity shop in Sevenoaks -



.. and the other for a quid, a hardback from Brooks Bookshop in Tonbridge.



Florence decided to peer out to the street below from my bedroom window, and then fell asleep there.



This one was taken with the Canon.

Dangerous Visions

On BBC Radio 4 is a series of Dangerous Visions , all dramatizations of sci fi classics , such as Philip K Dick's Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep? and on today Ray Bradbury's Martian Chronicles.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b02v1q2n/episodes/guide

Martian Chronicles

If you have four hours or so to spare i have found The Martian Chronicles (1980) starring Rock Hudson on You Tube here -

Summer Solstice

The longest day today. The summer solstice and that means just one thing. The nights will be drawing in again. The dance of the sun and the moon is entering their next phase, juxtaposed as opposites  in the eternal  battle for supremacy.

The lunar tics will gain the upper hand.

A Dystopian Playlist

Some nightmare visions and apocalyptic music now ,stating with Godspeed! You Black Emperor and a track called East Hastings. Oh and yes i have seen them live once in Brighton too.

Next The Haxan Cloak and a track called The Mirror Reflecting Part 2 -

And finally Tangerine Dream with Mysterious Semblance At The Strand Of Nightmares.

Enjoy - as darkness falls.

Spot On

And this is why i am an atheist.