Sorrow

I have been out
I got drunk
with Amanda
but now home and fell asleep - well
That was five hours ago or more.

I feel that Ros is slipping away from us.
Sorry for not  blogging much.

I am too distraught. 

The News I have been expecting...

Ros has little time left. I spent three hours with her last night as she was transferred from the HDU to a critical care ward. She knows she is dying and has little time left. Chemo is not an option given her very weak state and moreover it could cause irreversible complications such as heart attack, respiratory failure, blood clots...

What happens now is a matter of conjecture. She might stay in hospital, she might come home to a hospital bed installed here and palliative care. I spoke about this this morning with her consultant oncologist. I await a further call from the consultant. I am confused and exhausted. I've had little sleep and not much to eat, cannot face food.

I don't know how many more entries I can make like this although it does help to "talk" about it with my LJ friends. You are all special people.

Good Morning

Saturday Saucy Pizza Day

Third day in a row of doing rail surveys doe the Kent-based rail company. Although today was a disruption survey due to engineering work on the line from Sittingbourne to Sheerness. So, I travelled the bus replacement and did the survey based on the alternative service.

I had lunch in Spoons on the island. Here is the food porn, Jon – pizza!



After the job, I popped over to Rainham to peruse the bookshop there and picked up a few cheap classical CDs. I then came home avoiding my local pub.

Well, that was it, yesterday after I did my other rail covert shop I popped into the pub, met Amanda there, and we had two bottles of wine between us and then went elsewhere on a pub crawl. It was at least two other puns we imbibed in. So today was going to be an easy day.

Today's CD Finds

All are classical from Sunburst Books in Rainham -






All for a total of three pounds. 

Call from Ros

A nurse just 'phoned and said Ros wanted to speak with me. She handed the 'phone to Ros:

"Mike, it's all complicated. I don't know what they are doing. Are you coming tomorrow. I love you..."

I managed "Love you so much" and then I broke down and sobbed uncontrollably.

I will see Ros tomorrow afternoon.

Cats Hate Capes

Good Night